The Manband Forum

General Category => Back Pages => Topic started by: Rob W on February 24, 2009, 02:48:35 AM

Title: SH*T!
Post by: Rob W on February 24, 2009, 02:48:35 AM
There's a big b*st*rd spider on the ceiling in my bedroom. It's piggin' massive. Sprayed it with loads of air freshener. Hasn't budged. Think it's laughing at me. I'm staying on the settee tonight. Brickin' it! 
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Allan Heron on February 24, 2009, 11:16:28 AM
For a minute there, Rob, I thought you must have discovered that the Ferry had moved  ;D
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Martin Daughton on February 24, 2009, 11:55:38 AM
Sprayed it with loads of air freshener. Hasn't budged.  

 ;D  You've probably stuck it to the ceiling!!! No wonder it hasn't moved.  ;D

Try this:

www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/ (http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/)

Poke and prod it with your mouse or grab one of its legs and drag it around the screen.
Also, point anywhere on the map and hit the space bar and watch.
 
 
 
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Nick Nation on February 24, 2009, 09:27:48 PM
I can just see the video......it's Quicksilver.....close up of Rob, the spider and the air freshener....."Ohhhhhh, Have Another Hit..(squirt)....Of Fresh Air...."

Suppose we could superimpose Dino Valenti's head onto Rob's body, although that would be a rather cheap thing to do. Cough. 

Try this:
www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/ (http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/)

Ha Ha! Nice one Mr D, I like the way you can adjust the spider! So there you are, Jules - if Mr Martin can come up with this, surely you can finish our Man virtual reality simulator? I would have thought it easier than the real thing. Although you would need to make Gareth twice as loud. I think he's rather good, that solo on the you tube 7171 is tres groovy baby.
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Martin Daughton on February 24, 2009, 10:53:57 PM
...if Mr Martin can come up with this, surely you can finish our Man virtual reality simulator?

Many thanks for the compliment Mr. Nick but I can't program Flash but I can share a link with the best...
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Rob the Organ on February 25, 2009, 04:11:07 AM
Although you would need to make Gareth twice as loud. I think he's rather good, that solo on the you tube 7171 is tres groovy baby.

I always thought GT had a nice Hammond sound; nothing groundbreaking but very much just-so and homely.
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Dan Singh on February 26, 2009, 06:41:44 PM
JUST BLOODY TYPICAL WITH YOU GUYS.. Poor little Boris, crawling across the ceiling doing no-one any harm, minding his own buisness, and WHAM, eau-de-channel..

Somehow, and I can't quite see how it happened, and you start talking about MUSIC of all things..
What is this board here for? ::)
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Nick Nation on February 26, 2009, 07:35:16 PM
What is this board here for? ::)

Well I'd like to know what happened to the spider.....
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Martin Daughton on February 26, 2009, 08:46:11 PM
Well I'd like to know what happened to the spider.....

It's probably dead but smells great.  :'(
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Rob W on February 26, 2009, 10:15:09 PM
Right then. When I saw this thread meander onto blummin' Hammond organs, I thought 'oi, sod all that, what am I gonna do about that big b*st*rd on me ceiling'. Anyway, I did sleep on the settee. Bedroom door firmly shut.
Following day, big b*st*rd is still lacquered to the ceiling, not budged. Later in the day, no change. Early evening, still no change. I phoned the current Woolfe 'bird' (it'll never last), and she was coming round later to kill it.
She came round, went into the bedroom, and can't believe it - the b*st*rd's gone! Then out of the corner of my eye, it's put plan B into operation, and unlacqered itself and moved - on the ceiling above my bed, precisely above the pillow where my head would be. I screamed. Lindsey (the bird) hoovered it up using the attachment things whilst I hid in the bathroom, pretending I needed a sh*t, but was just getting out of the way.
So, big b*st*rd spider wasn't lacquered, he'd dug in behind sand bags whilst planning his next move. And now, I daren't use the hoover in case it comes crawling out and kicks my f*ck*n' head in.

Deke Leonard.....think you know how to write a book?.....look and learn   :)
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Nick Nation on February 26, 2009, 11:11:02 PM
That was beautiful, Rob W.....so touching...so sensitive...I think I will have to share it with the even lovelier than me Ms Nation, I just know it will bring a tear to her eyes....
Title: Re: SH*T!
Post by: Dan Singh on February 27, 2009, 12:38:02 AM
..well he certainly ain't no David Attenborough..
Do you think we ought to contact the RSPCS, either that or put him in an ASYLUM (got back to music)..