President Barack Obama visits a Glasgow hospital. He enters a ward full of patients. He greets one. The patient replies:
Fair fa' your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin race,
Aboon them a' ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.
Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient, who responds:
Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an' we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.
Even more confused, and his grin now rictus like, the President moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins
to chant:
Wee sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie,
O the panic in thy breastie,
Thou needna start awa' sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle.
Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'
‘No’ replies the doctor....‘this is the serious Burns unit'.