Spam Phone Calls

[Nick Nation]

Having got sick and tired of all the spam phone calls I was getting, I made some enquiries and found that they are not illegal as such, but by registering with Telephone Preference Services here: http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/index.html you can opt to have your number removed from the list these organisations use. A similar scheme applies to junk mail. This has generally been a success, except for two persistent irritants.

It seems I'm not the only one. Two websites have been started dedicated to the cause.

1. The Mysterious Computer Virus. The caller asks you to key in an address which no doubt will unlease untold shenanigans. Despite me telling them that I no longer have a computer, please don't call me, outright abuse, anything, they call every few days. The anti-site is here: http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/00912080997526 The caller asked for me and knew where I lived as this virus was apparently 'In The Epsom Area'. 

2. Various Scottish concerns with Home Vouchers. Their anti-site is here: http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/01592642600/19 Again, the name changes but the old accent is a bit of a giveaway.

Generally these two set-ups withold their number and will put the phone down when challenged, or if they get too many questions. I warn you not to get involved in their scams and add your name to TPS, and report any subsequent rogue callers - especially these two.

Can't I have a bit of privacy?

[Andrew P]

I usually try to have a laugh at the expense of these pillocks. I pretend to be foreign, or hard of hearing. One of my strategies is to get them to speak up a bit. Then I ask if they are standing up because it aids clarity of diction and voice projection. Then I suggest they might want to stand on their chair and shout a bit louder ... you get the drift. I have this mental image of a telesales numpty in his or her pod in a huge telesales farm, standing on his chair and shouting, and all the other numpties prairie-dog-ing over the tops of their screens to see what the fuss is all about. Sad innit?

Sometimes I engage them in conversation and get them so far away from their script that they put the phone down on me - which is always the objective of the game. Simple pleasures. Simple person.

[celias]

1. The Mysterious Computer Virus. The caller asks you to key in an address which no doubt will unlease untold shenanigans. Despite me telling them that I no longer have a computer, please don't call me, outright abuse, anything, they call every few days. The anti-site is here: http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/00912080997526 The caller asked for me and knew where I lived as this virus was apparently 'In The Epsom Area'. 

Two friends of mine have recently had phone calls re computers.  Neither use their computers very much at all. One was told her firewall was not on, the other that she had a corrupted file and was asked to switch her computer on which she refused to do. She questioned the chappie asked for and got an address and telephone number which I suppose are fictious. 

I cannot abide those calls that are activated when you answer the phone.  I usually just lay the phone down and leave them to it, returning it to its cradle five mins later!

[Pete T]

..the "hang on a minute there's some one at the door", or "I've got some toast under the grill" and walk away from the phone works..

Regarding the "you've got a virus" scam, NO, they can't tell that, may say that they've picked it up from a "report to microsoft". If they need to get to you, they will write.. And never reply to e-mails from your "bank"..

[Mike Morgan]

I once had a lenghy conversation with someone cold calling from SKY.  After a while I asked him what his name was and then went on to ask him for his phone number.  When he refused, I asked him why, and he told me that he didn't want people he didn't know ringing him up out of the blue.  At that point, some sort of light went on with him.

[Arjayay]

Just had three spam/junk calls on a Sunday afternoon
Is it illegal to set off a personal attack/rape alarm against the mouthpiece?
Or is there a better way to do this, without deafening myself as well?

[Nick Nation]

Is it illegal to set off a personal attack/rape alarm against the mouthpiece?

I've looked in the Ladybird Book of Civil Law and it's not mentioned, so go for it. I would say play 'Kingdom Of Noise' down the receiver instead, but then I realised you're more likely to have a rape alarm.

Or is there a better way to do this, without deafening myself as well?

Yes, contact TPS (see link above) but even they seem to be unable to sort my two antagonists out.

Now there's a thing - you don't normally get 'Kingdom Of Noise' and 'Antagonists' in the same thread. Ho Hum.