Author Topic: When I was younger........  (Read 12633 times)

John Bannon

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When I was younger........
« on: August 25, 2012, 12:00:58 AM »
When I was younger a girlfriend asked 'if one swallow made a summer' I replied 'I can't speak for all my mates but for me that would be a definite Yes'.
It was years later I found out she was testing out my knowledge of poetry.

rockprof

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2012, 02:57:59 AM »
Mate of mine replied "No, but it's an excellent result for a first date."

Martin Daughton

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2012, 02:46:02 PM »
Haven't seen a single swallow, swift or house martin all summer. Loads of f*ck*n' dandelions though. And yesterday I picked about 1/2  a pound of blackberries off the briars next door and out the back...

Rob W

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2012, 08:31:34 PM »
Where's Oakers when you need him? If you want to know about a swallow, he's your man!!

And one winters day, I was out walking in the countryside with a girl. Admiring the birds, I said oh look, is that a blue tit? She said probably, I'm f*ck*n freezing.........

Stevie Nicks

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2012, 09:00:35 PM »
ah think ah can speak on behalf of the other women on this forum and admit to feelings of great aroosal. not when were readin this shite, mind. in the curcumstances ah am therefore now oot on toon. 

Trevor Barstow

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2012, 09:31:16 PM »
I managed 3 swallows last weekend visiting the broads.

John Bannon

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2012, 12:37:54 AM »
When I was younger, a mate and I went for a pub lunch, he ordered a hot dog, the barmaid said 'would you like anything on your sausage' with the best retort I've ever heard, he said, 'a bit of lipstick would be nice'

Allan Heron

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2012, 12:50:47 AM »
When I was younger, a mate and I went for a pub lunch, he ordered a hot dog, the barmaid said 'would you like anything on your sausage' with the best retort I've ever heard, he said, 'a bit of lipstick would be nice'

Did it go down well?
It's Just My View

Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST........

Rob W

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2012, 04:04:34 AM »
Now I know what he's referring to. Not the sausage on his plate is it? It's his willy. I've been around a bit. I know what he means.


But why does he want to put lipstick on it?


:)

sonic_hawk

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2012, 11:09:58 PM »
Mate of mine replied "No, but it's an excellent result for a first date."
Yay, hay.... sounds good.

----

When I was younger, the world seemed fairly demented.

Since then, we've had political correctness, health and safety paranoia, and religious beheadings... and Hawkwind has stopped doing "Master of the Universe" for their encore.

Need I say more.

Rob W

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2012, 02:24:22 PM »
I've just been reading a really interesting book about anti gravity. I couldn't put it down.

:)

Martin Daughton

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2012, 08:57:10 PM »
My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.
I told her I was looking for cheap flights.

"I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, quickly undressed  and we had the most amazing  sex  ever....

Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.

rockprof

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2012, 10:56:36 AM »
My missus told me she really frowns on pornography. So do I, but only because I'm concentrating....

Rob W

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2012, 10:19:27 PM »
I went to visit the wife tonight. She's in hospital. Doctor comes over and says "Mr Woolfe, we now have the diagnosis. Your wife has an acute angina". I said " I know, and her boobs aren't bad as well".

With thanks to Roy Chubby Brown c.1986   

Mike Morgan

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Re: When I was younger........
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2012, 11:25:07 PM »
Topic? What topic 8)