Nick - I'll see your Bus Driver's Prayer and raise you a Transport Of Delight (courtesy of Michael Flanders and Donald Swann):
Some people like a motorbike, some say, "A tram for me!",
Or for bonny army lorry, they'd lay them down and dee.
Such means of locomotion seem rather dull to us,
The driver and conductor of a London omnibus!
Hold very tight please, ting ting.
Hold very tight please, ting ting.
When you are lost in London, and you don't know where you are,
You'll hear my voice a-calling, "Move further down the car!".
And very soon you'll find yourself inside the terminus,
In a London transport, diesel engine, ninety-seven horsepower omnibus.
Along the Queen's great highway, I drive my merry load,
At twenty miles per hour in the middle of the road.
We like to drive in conveys, we're most gregarious,
The big six-wheeler, scarlet painted, London transport, diesel engine, ninety-seven horsepower omnibus.
Earth has not anything to show more fair,
Mind the stairs, please,
Mind the stairs...
Mind the stairs...
Earth has not anything to show more fair,
Any more fares?
Any more fares, any more fares?
When cabbies try to pass me before they overtakes,
I sticks me flippin' hand out and I jams on all me brakes.
Those jackal taxi drivers can only swear and cuss,
Behind that monarch of the road,
Observer of the highway code,
That big six-wheeler,
Scarlet painted,
London transport,
Diesel engine,
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus.
I stops when I'm requested, although it spoils the ride,
So we can shout,
"Get out of it! We're full right up inside".
We don't ask much for wages, we only want fair shares,
So cut down all the stages, and stick up all the fares.
If tickets cost a pound apiece, why should you make a fuss?
It's worth it just to ride inside,
That thirty-foot long by ten-foot wide,
Inside that monarch of the road,
Observer of the highway code,
The big six-wheeler,
London transport,
Diesel engine,
Ninety-seven horsepower,
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus!
Hold very tight, please!
Ting ting!
