Luis Suarez

[Michael Heatley]

...walked into a bar and asked for a large aperitif.

Certainly not, said the barman. They're big enough already! 

[rockprof]

Thought he preferred bitter....

[Barry Island]

Something along the lines of 'Uruguay with a nasty afterbite'

[Mark Oakley]

Bet you there's a picture of a shark - christened Suarez - in tomorrow's Sun!

[Rob W]

I think he's now bitten off more than he can chew

[Nick Nation]

Wonder if there'll be a replica Subbuteo figure, Rob?

[Rob W]

Wonder if there'll be a replica Subbuteo figure, Rob?

Well they have a streaker...

Anyway, fangs for the memory

 

[Rob W]

And I see FIFA still haven't decided on a punishment for Suarez.

They're obviously still chewing it over

[Barry Island]

And I see FIFA still haven't decided on a punishment for Suarez.

They're obviously still chewing it over

Whatever the decision it will be hard to digest!

[Andrew P]

He's in the wrong game; should play rugby instead.

Reminds me of the joke involving the star player at the bottom of a ruck who shakes all the other players off, runs down the field and scores a try. When asked after the game how he did it, he explained "Well, there I was, bent double on the grass with all these guys on top of me, legs, bodies, arms everywhere, when suddenly I saw this pair of bollocks. All those guys on top of me, that should get things moving. So I bit them. It's amazing the things you can do after you've bitten your own bollocks".

Oi'll get me coat.

[Mark Oakley]

Well I was half-right! The shark made the Sun Online...including a video of reporter Dean Wilkins snorkelling in Mcr Sea Life shark tank and talking abouit how much more likely you are to be bitten by Luis Suarez than a shark!

Received a text this morning to the effect that Suarez is 'biterly' disappointed he won't get to play against Germany or Argentina. He was looking forward to sampling shoulder of Lahm and then Eton Messi!

[Nick Nation]

And now Suarez has been sold!

With him gone, Liverpool's attack will be toothless.