Author Topic: F*cking dandelions  (Read 200979 times)

Martin Daughton

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F*cking dandelions
« on: April 21, 2010, 03:47:40 PM »
Nothing else.

Nick Nation

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2010, 09:21:01 PM »

Pete T

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2010, 12:01:13 AM »
My Aunty Pop used to keep me out of school on April 23rd (St George's Day) to go picking dandelions to make wine. I think this date came out of the WI diary as the best day to pick to make the best wine in time for the village show..

As a young teenager, we used to see how many dandelion clocks (seed heads) we could set fire to with a single match.. Think we got up into the 200's..
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Mike Morgan

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2010, 12:33:02 AM »
Would that be having sex with lions in top hat, coat tails and a cane?

Martin Daughton

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2010, 11:19:09 AM »
Would that be having sex with lions in top hat, coat tails and a cane?

Depends. Are the lions dressed as Johhnie Walker or am I?

Did anyone else think when you were a kid that smelling a dandelion flower meant that you would piss the bed?

Pete T

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2010, 11:37:57 AM »
Leaves, I find are quite bitter, although can be used as a lettuce substitute. Need to strip the main rib out to get rid of the "sappy" bit.
Roots, when roasted, can be used as a coffee substitute. (presumably de-caf!).

There are lots of local names for the Dandelion, Piss-a-bed being one of them..
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John Bannon

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2010, 08:40:54 PM »
Can I remind people, that although dandelion's are commonly thought of as weeds, they are in fact a flower. My allotment looks particulary colourful at this time of year..........F*cking dandelions.
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Pete T

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2010, 08:50:36 PM »
Can I remind people, that although dandelion's are commonly thought of as weeds, they are in fact a flower. My allotment looks particulary colourful at this time of year..........F*cking dandelions.
Sounds like an ailment of the middle joint of the leg -

Knee-glect..
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Nick Nation

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2010, 09:45:04 PM »
Sounds like an ailment of the middle joint...

Ahh right, Pete....thanks for telling me. I'll have the two either side, then. Hurrrgle! 


Pete T

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2010, 09:50:31 PM »
Sounds like an ailment of the middle joint of the leg.

..I was going to say "middle leg joint", thank god I didn't..
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Nick Nation

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2010, 10:21:20 PM »
Just been having a casual glancette at the powerful Nationsounds Back Garden Facility and am pleased to report that last year's zero tolerance strategy is paying dividends. Do not be tempted to simply mow off the heads, they come back double and angry.

Stephen Barstow

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2010, 11:30:06 PM »
I have a collection of Dandelions (the genus Taraxacum) including several French cultivars, a species from Bear Island, a white flowered Spitsbergen variant, a variegated dandelion, the pink flowered Taraxacum alboroseum, the red-leaved Taraxacum faroense and least but not least the Rubber Dandelion (Taraxacum kok-saghyz), cultivated both in Russia and the US in a big way during the last world war (when tropical rubber supplies dried up). The recent increasing interest in homeland security has lead to a boom in Taraxacum (rubber) research. Incidentally, I accidentally found myself controlling homeland security in both the US, Russia and Japan as in 2007 I was apparently the sole global supplier of Rubber Dandelion seed (which I collected in my garden to hopefully trade my way to new and wonderful species). I sold seed that year for EUR 1,000!! (true), but the market has sadly since dried up, so I couldn't retire as the world's first Rubber Dandelion baron. The rubber dandelion looks identical to the common garden variety to the untrained eye...

I am currently looking for the rare Gough Island Dandelion if anyone stumbles over one...

...and please mind your language when talking about my friends...

Pete T

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2010, 11:58:48 PM »
I am currently looking for the rare Gough Island Dandelion if anyone stumbles over one...

Jules..???
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Jules

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2010, 03:23:49 AM »
I've got a map of Gough Island on my wall,
I've got a map of Gough Island on my wall,
It looks too f%*#ing cold for me,
So I've never been there at all.
Boldly going.......

Trevor Barstow

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Re: F*cking dandelions
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2010, 09:27:30 AM »
I should mention the story about StEvil's father who unilaterally decided to do some weeding in St's garden, targeting the aforementioned. How I laughed.