I hate to be pedantic but....

[Mike Morgan]

To demontrate the value of punctuation:

The inspector said the teacher is a fool.

The inspector, said the teacher, is a fool.

[mikes]

Does anybody know where the toilets are?

Discuss.

[Rob W]

Does anybody know where the toilets are?

Discuss.

Why "toilets"? Do you need more than one?

I'll let someone else ponder the apostrophe question.

[Mike Morgan]

Why there is too much space between the pig and the whistle seems the more important philosophical question here.

Surely philosophy should take precedence over pedantry / punctuation?

[Nick Nation]

Why "toilets"? Do you need more than one?

Yes, they do

[Andrew P]

Why there is too much space between the pig and the whistle seems the more important philosophical question here.

Surely philosophy should take precedence over pedantry / punctuation?

Mmmm, interesting question. Do we ascribe equal value to each, or is there a concensus that one is of greater value than the other? If so, which? And why? You have three hours. Start now.

As for the punctuation thingy, I was always taught that it went like this:

There is too much space between "Pig" and "and", and "and" and "Whistle".

It's got something to do with a comment made by an onlooker to a signwriter putting the finishing touches to a pub sign.

Discuss.

[Nick Nation]

It's got something to do with a comment made by an onlooker to a signwriter putting the finishing touches to a pub sign.

Discuss.

Right. This is an event in track and field athletics competition in which athletes compete to throw a heavy circular disc further than the rest. Why?

[Mike Morgan]

No, not a heavy frisbee.
It's being disrespectful and swearing. Dis, cuss. 
But the ancient Greeks couldn't spell or maybe the language has grown and developed and spelling(s) have changed over the years.

This is beginning to feel like the three question sketch in Monty P and the Holy Grail.

First one who screws up in a way others can incontrovertably notice can no longer post.

Oh, and before you play the split infinitive card, apparently there is no such thing due to the syntax of Latin.

[Alan Davies]

Isn't sin tax one of the incoming government's plans?

[John Bannon]

No, not a heavy frisbee.
It's being disrespectful and swearing. Dis, cuss. 
But the ancient Greeks couldn't spell or maybe the language has grown and developed and spelling(s) have changed over the years.

This is beginning to feel like the three question sketch in Monty P and the Holy Grail.

First one who screws up in a way others can incontrovertably notice can no longer post.

Oh, and before you play the split infinitive card, apparently there is no such thing due to the syntax of Latin.

My regard my postings as very much like the time when Andre Previn criticized Eric Morcambe piano playing and Eric replied "I'm playing all the right notes but not neccessarily in the right order"

[John Bannon]

Regarding the last posting should have said I instead of my, about time I seen an optician

[Nick Nation]

There is too much space between "Pig" and "and", and "and" and "Whistle".

Should be inverted commas rather than speech marks.

[Mike Morgan]

[/quote]

Should be inverted commas rather than speech marks.
[/quote].

I actually went for the speech marks deliberately.  It's one of those things that I would normally have done but the pressure, OH THE PRESSURE, of getting it right got to me. 

Bit like standing on a kerb and looking down - no prob.  Try doing the same on a cliff edge!

[Mike Morgan]

Oh, asbestos gelos, would you believe I deleted the words "quite right" before my reply, and while we're at it, can I take it that you'd all agree that Caesar non supra grammaticos?

[Andrew P]

There is too much space between "Pig" and "and", and "and" and "Whistle".

Should be inverted commas rather than speech marks.

Of course. However when I looked for inverted commas on the keyboard I could not see any. So I made do with speech marks. To be absolutely correct, I'd need two lots of inverted commas, the ones that look like tiny 66 at the start, and the ones that look like tiny 99 at the end. I suppose only the 66 ones would be inverted, as the 99 ones would be the right way up and not inverted at all.

Volenti non fit injuria. Res ipsa loquitur.